The Winner: My Ass Is Tighter Than My Big Mouth

What a vulgar heading! If I certainly need attention, this is the way to go, the foul and nasty road to stardom!
Since I can't stop the itch, I'll let my big mouth do its talking. I had sex with a friend. Forgive me for rushing into the climax. My friend told me to keep it a secret. I, on the other hand, sold our story like "Keso De Bola" on Christmas Season! By the way, Happy Holidays! Going back, but I would go brief, although not precise, on the details. And as much as I want to bare it all (the names, the places, the dates, the how's and why's of the story) I need to give due respect (the remaining) to my friend.
After five or so rounds of alcohol, my friends and I (we were a group of eight) are literally and figuratively all over the place! We were crying, almost kind of aggressively attacking each other, and just valuing our last Christmas in college. On the other side of the party, the usual I'm-so-horny-when-I'm-tipsy me randomly told my guy friend that I have the hots for him in a warm embrace while we were both standing in the middle of the garden. I really don't expect anything, honestly. I was not even waiting for a "putang ina, walang namang taluhan" dialogue at all. I was just plain I.S.H.W.I.T. and feeling so lousy. Yes, the spirit of alcohol doesn't do any good to my system. It just exaggerates my suppressed desires and unconscious thoughts. Going back... To my surprise, he whispered back: "Juno, I like you too...” in a soft and sexy way that turned me wild in a snap! Then I started kissing and sucking his neck aimlessly! I can say that our friendship is shallow; it is bound by companionship and platonic bond. But that night, I felt connected to him! (Who wouldn't?) And while I was trying to drive him nuts, he kept on whispering: "stop! Juno, stop! I'm having a boner!" again, in the softest tone I've ever heard of him utter. Now I can't remember why I stopped kissing him that evening because it has been nine or more days ago. All I know is that it didn't stop there! The whole night, I pleasured him in the sneakiest and subtle way I could possibly do amidst the presence of our unknowing and drunk friends. I was so devilishly lusty! What I did to him was like more of sexual teasing with the details I won't elaborate. But we never really did it! But wait! There's more!
We could've done it that night but he refused.
That very next morning, with the sun still not up, I was awakened by the beep of my mobile phone. A text message, from him saying: "I want you". I was on cloud nine! That message was an effective way of throwing flattery that can quickly put me ablaze! Obviously, I like the guy. Actually I do have a crush on him that I was amusing myself for quite a while. And I manage to keep it a secret from him. But I am not so sure if he was clueless knowing that I tried flirting with him in a somehow foolish and joking type of way. And yes we're in the same circle of friends. I guess it's inevitable to fall for a friend. All it takes is the decision to cross between friendship and love. Going back, going back! So that day, after waiting a few more hours, everyone went to each and every personal agendas and our group split ways. But not us! We live in the same dormitory, although we are not roommates, we live on the same floor (now this is a give-away piece of information, if you want to know his identity. Fuck me! My ass is tighter!). After settling down in my room, the urge was growing and growing every millisecond in me until I rushed outside and ended up knocking on his door. Crazy thoughts were running inside my head those times. And when he opened his door, with him half naked and wearing only a boxer brief, I hurriedly went inside and we started to entangle ourselves in a blissful kisses and embraces. Then he asked me: "are you sure about this?" in my head, I was like "Oh yes I am sure! Just for keeping me wanting you for how long, I am definitely sure of turning my fantasy into reality!” So I returned back the question "are you sure you want this?" I said, in a joking manner. And with no words spoken we went on. Sorry but I have to spoil the excitement. Although quite some pleasuring occurred, we both did not came. So there!
After the incident, I started texting him. Saying how I can’t stop thinking about him and that I am confused if what happened was just casual sex. And again to my surprise, he responded positively. And we kept on exchanging messages for five or so days. The thing was I am not sure if I need to be attached to him as of this very moment. Or if I am willing to cross the thin line of our friendship or should I say am I now willing to draw another line between us again. And we are challenged to answer the dilemma of Lust VS Love. But we finished up by choosing to be just friends as of this very moment before we float on our thoughts of us in a relationship (which is really not a bad idea). Actually, I am so sorry for him because he had to experience my complexity first hand! I am like the wind; I can blow from North then South, then East and then West! And most of the times I just want to bang my head on the wall for the petty catastrophes I create!
Moving on! And proving that my ass is tighter than my big mouth, I told one of our friends our dirty little secret that very same day after we did it. You can now choke me to death my friend!
What is the moral lesson of my story?
Get drunk, but take the responsibility.
Fuck your friend, and still take the responsibility.
Follow your heart! And take full responsibility…
And thoroughly assess yourself if you’re ready for a commitment, even though it is fun to be lost in love, still you are responsible for every bit of your life’s drama!
Amen?
Although I am longing for someone to call my lover, I will just know within me that he is it! So I am in a rush. Fools rush in, and I am a fool. So where does it take me?
What a year!
And what do I expect of me in 2008? I expect the unexpected, I still have to deal with the ever complex Juno, that you can simply hate or love.
Happy New Year my dear friends!